4/10/05: Spring is here / band update / bad reviews / 5 sec. lottery win / His Royal
                       Patness & JBro

"Spring is here, Spring is here
Life is Skittles and life is beer
I think the loveliest time of year is the Spring
I do
Don't you?
'course you do..."

from "Poisoning Pigeons in the Park" by Tom Lehrer

Yes, Spring is here folks. Finally. I know this because I can barely breathe. But I love it nonetheless. I know this because weird things are happening. The restlessness that has been building all winter has begun to manifest itself in strange ways. Events you could never have imagined taking place, calls from people in the past, unexpected visitors. Be aware of what's going on around you.

Not much to tell on the music front. The band has been getting better and better with every show. We're enjoying playing the new song ("Fade Away") and I'm busy writing more. Financial hardship may have us going back to doing duo shows again but I hope it doesn't come to that. I am loving the new pedal board I built for myself; no more cable spaghetti after every show. Usually I would take this opportunity to tell you how we1ve been positively reviewed on some website or in print but this time I'd like to share some of the laughable, negative reviews we've gotten in the hopes that you find then as amusing as we do, lest you think everyone just has nice things to say about us.
Here's one from IMPACT "Press":

"Massimo / self-titled / Skytide Music - Michael Massimo is a rockin' singer-songwriter that delivers sub par vocals with an 80's era sound overtop basic pop-rock riffs. The agony within his voice tells stories about car crashes and getting lost inside himself through five forgettable tracks. Tempo changes occur everywhere, and Massimo uses those to hit highs and lows with his voice, reminiscent of Ronnie James Dio and the like."

Awesome. 80's! Ronnie James Dio! You gotta love it.

Here's one from Ear Candy "Magazine":

"Boring, generic melodic rock that makes you wanna burn down your local "Gen-X" radio station for ever inspiring such forgettable rock."

It just doesn't get much more validating than that. This is how you know you're on the right track, people. We'd be worried if every review was a good one. We prefer to listen to the people in the crowd: "Now THAT'S rock and roll!" (shouted out after playing "Fallen" at the Whiskey Bar).

Saw Pat Metheny at the Tower Theatre on Philly a couple of weeks ago. The Group is touring to promote their latest album, The Way Up, which is essentially a 68 minute song in 4 parts. They were awesome as usual. On the drive home I had to save my self esteem by telling myself, "Yeah, but he doesn't sing. He doesn't write lyrics. He1s not all that." As if. It1s always good to see greatness. Makes you want to take your game to the next level. Speaking of which, saw Jonatha Brooke in Camden last Sat. which was a bit more challenging for me because she does sing and she does write lyrics and does both beautifully. She was great as well. Met her afterward (again). She remembered me from last year's Appel Farm Festival. I kept it together this time although in my mind I sounded like Chris Farley interviewing Paul McCartney on SNL ("Remember when you were in the Beatles? Remember that? That was awesome..."). Gave her a copy of the EP. Handed out over 100 homemade MASSIMO sampler CD1s before the show to people coming in. Turned out to be a good move; it resulted in a huge spike in website traffic for the following day. We are currently looking to build a street team (The MASSIMO Mob) to do things just like this at all our shows. If you'd like to never pay a cover to see us again and help spread the word, please email us at Mmassimo@aol.com for more details. Meanwhile, our MySpace community is growing by leaps and bounds. Join the fun at www.myspace.com/massimo.

Random quote: "The world owes all of its onward impulses to men ill at ease. The happy man inevitably confines himself within ancient limits." - Nathaniel Hawthorne

And now another story to illustrate why I don't play the lottery:
It was my Grandmother's birthday the other day and I got her a card filled with random scratch-off lottery tickets (she loves them). I couldn't attend the family get together because of band business but did get the following phone call from my Mom:
"Michael, you're not going to believe this but I think you're grandmother just won $25,000!"
"Get the hell outta here! No way! That's awesome!"
"Wait a sec...(what? It needs to be a straight flush?)...Never mind she didn't win anything."
"Thanks. You suck!"
Click!

Worried about paying my bills lately, I was elated for 5 seconds to think I might get flipped a grand or two to do just that, but just as quickly my hopes were dashed. Congratulations, Mom. You just made the Flipside.

In the "Wish This Wasn't True But It Really Is" file:
From Rolling Stone 971 - "During jury selection, when Jackson was rushed to Marian Medical Center with the flu, a seventy-four-year-old-woman who had suffered a heart attack was forced to giver up her bed in a trauma room to make room for Jackson. He was discharged the next day. The woman had two more heart attacks and died."

R.I.P. Hunter S. Thompson. Hey, man, nice shot!

In the CD player: The Way Up - Pat Metheny Group, on infinite repeat

I will leave you with the autograph Jonatha gave me: "Sing Loud!"

Amen, sister.

M